Cricket Dec 07, 2025

The Ashes: England's 'pathetic Poms' savaged by Australian media after two-day pummelling in first Test at Perth

👤
By Admin
Sports Journalist
The Ashes: England's 'pathetic Poms' savaged by Australian media after two-day pummelling in first Test at Perth

As Travis Head was spanking Australia to victory in a remarkable two-day Ashes Test in Perth, England knew what was coming.

Not only would they be 1-0 down in the five-match series but they would also be destroyed by the home media after throwing away a position of strength with a raft of injudicious shots.

Yep, Bazball was about to get battered.

It was no surprise, then, that the West Australian group, which had called Ben Stokes "cocky", Joe Root "average" and England's approach "careless thrash batting" before a ball had been bowled, hammered the tourists' Optus Stadium horror show.

The Sunday Times, previously the West Australian Sunday Times, said on its front page that Head's 'Travball' had "turned the tables on the pathetic Poms", with its back page stating that England had been "Pommelled" and "Bazballl flipped on its head".

The Australian, meanwhile, said "Travball murders Bazball".

Elsewhere, Daniel Brettig in The Age said England batted like "lemmings" by driving on the up in their second innings, with Ollie Pope, Harry Brook and Joe Root all dismissed in that fashion as three wickets fell for no runs in six deliveries amid a collapse of 6-39.

Bretting called England's batting "vibe-based" and added that Bazball "should share equal billing with Slow Horses for the most entertaining limited series to come out of the UK" in years. Ouch!

Plus, as cricket.com.au remarked that the tourists had gone from "Bazball-brilliant" on day one as their ferocious pace attack ripped through Australia to "boiled lollies" 24 hours later en route to a "humiliating defeat", with Head's Travball "pricking their pride".

The UK media also got their flamethrowers out, mind you, with headlines in The Telegraph calling England "gutless" and "self-destructive" and saying their batting was an "affront to Test cricket". The phrase "feeble surrender" was used by The Mail.

The Mail's Lawrence Booth suggested Zak Crawley, who bagged the ninth pair by an England opener and first since SportNews' Michael Atherton in 1999, should "have no more than one Test to save his career", adding "many believe he's lucky to have got this far".

Crawley was twice out driving Mitchell Starc in the first over.

We'll leave the final say to Sir Geoffrey Boycott, never a man to mince his words, with the former England batter writing in The Telegraph that he "cannot take this team seriously" as they "keep throwing away Test matches by doing the same stupid things".

"They never learn because they never listen to anyone outside their own bubble, because they truly believe their own publicity," added an angry Boycott.

The swiftness of the game in Perth means England now have almost two weeks before they next face Australia in the day-night second Test in Brisbane from December 4.

They can probably expect further media maulings in that time.

All times UK and Ireland

Tags:

cricket news id:13474345

Share this article

Related Posts

Sam Curran takes hat-trick as England beat Sri Lanka in first T20 international for 1-0 lead in three-match series

Sam Curran takes hat-trick as England beat Sri Lanka in first T20 international for 1-0 lead in three-match series

Sam Curran became the second England bowler to take a hat-trick in men's T20 internationals as his side beat Sri Lanka by 11 runs on DLS in a rain-red...

Big Bash Final: Steve Smith irritated at playing in rain as Perth Scorchers beat Sydney Sixers to win sixth title

Big Bash Final: Steve Smith irritated at playing in rain as Perth Scorchers beat Sydney Sixers to win sixth title

Steve Smith fired only briefly with the bat and then became frustrated at playing in the rain as Sydney Sixers lost to now six-time Big Bash League ch...

India and Pakistan win series ahead of T20 World Cup from February 7 -a tournament live in full on Sky Sports

India and Pakistan win series ahead of T20 World Cup from February 7 -a tournament live in full on Sky Sports

India and Pakistan are celebrating series victories ahead of the T20 World Cup, beating New Zealand and Australia respectively before February's big e...

England's Harry Brook backtracks over bouncer incident as Jacob Bethell and Josh Tongue reportedly investigated

England's Harry Brook backtracks over bouncer incident as Jacob Bethell and Josh Tongue reportedly investigated

England white-ball captain Harry Brook has backtracked on his initial comments about his clash with a nightclub bouncer in New Zealand, with Jacob Bet...

Moeen Ali: Ex-England all-rounder joins Yorkshire for 2026 Vitality Blast after reversing retirement from county cricket

Moeen Ali: Ex-England all-rounder joins Yorkshire for 2026 Vitality Blast after reversing retirement from county cricket

Former England all-rounder Moeen Ali has joined Yorkshire for the 2026 Vitality Blast after reversing his decision to retire from county cricket.Moeen...

Sri Lanka vs England, third ODI: Harry Brook and Joe Root fire unbeaten centuries as tourists claim 53-run win in series decider

Sri Lanka vs England, third ODI: Harry Brook and Joe Root fire unbeaten centuries as tourists claim 53-run win in series decider

Joe Root and captain Harry Brook fired unbeaten centuries as England beat Sri Lanka by 53 runs in the third one-day international and secure a first a...